Can't is a Four Letter Word

My piano students, and anyone who really knows me, has heard me say, "Can't is a Four Letter Word". I do not allow my students or anyone around me tell me something they think they "can't do".

It's the 'Act As If principle'. My wife's grandfather, T. Bowring Woodbury, always wanted people to understand the 'Act As If' principle'. If we act confident, productive, positive, happy, etc. we become such. The exact opposite is true as well. If we act as if we cannot do something we will not be able to. If we act lazy, negative, sad, depressed, unintelligent, unproductive, etc. we become such. We create our own self-fulfilling prophesy by telling ourselves what we think we are not capable of achieving, possessing, learning, or becoming, and as a result, we predict our future.

I do not permit my students to say they can't play a particular piece because it is difficult, or that they can't memorize a piece, learn new chords, scales, music theory, music tips, technique, or even a new musical instrument. Some give excuses stating they are too young, too old, not intelligent enough, not gifted enough, not capable, etc.. That is absurd.

Too often we allow ourselves to quit and give up before we even see signs of improvement, success, or growth. The truth of the matter is we are too close to the situation. We are improving and succeeding on a daily basis, but it is so gradual that, in the beginning, we often don't see the difference. Others around us may see our progression, especially if they know us well. Unfortunately, we don't see what others see because we judge our progression based upon those around us. We focus on what others have successfully accomplished and achieved and compare our meager attempts to their triumphs.

The truth is that we are all succeeding, but are doing so at different stages and periods of our lives. We judge ourselves in our station based upon others who are not in our situation, stage or period of life. We may be where they once were, but we don't compare ourselves to who they used to be or what they had to learn and become. Instead, we compare ourselves to who they are as a result of what they have done. They continued and pursed their dreams to succeed. If we stop and quit, we will not be successful. Comparing ourselves to what others have, know, have experienced, have acquired, have become, etc. is dangerous. We can say we want to look up to them and accomplish what they have accomplished, but we cannot and should not compare our present condition with their present condition.

Others may compare themselves to us and want to be where we are and do what we have done. This, too, is dangerous because we each have different likes, interests, gifts, talents, capabilities, and areas of expertise. We may compare one of our novice areas to someone's area of expertise. They may be giants in their specialized field and if we compare their strength to our weakness we will always feel inferior, incapable, and inadequate.

We are all more than adequate, capable, and able to learn any new skill, talent, language, or bit of information that will enable us to continually strive to improve our intelligence - to challenge our character to be better, to strengthen our weaknesses, to successfully strive to be more productive, accomplish more, learn more, and be more.

Music is a language, it is a skill, a past time, a hobby, a lifestyle, a way of being, an art, and a way to express and define who we are, but if we tell ourselves what we think we cannot do, we inevitably set ourselves up for failure. We can do anything, be anyone, and accomplish anything. All we must know is that we can. Thinking we can is good start, but it is not enough. We must believe we can to the point that our beliefs become a reality. Our faith must become knowledge. When we know we can, we will!

Written by Jerald M. Simon

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